The Silent Bird

I am a silent bird

with a beautiful song inside my heart.

Dawn arrives and other birds begin their melody

as the sun rises in the blue sky.

I long to sing with them,

to share their harmony,

to create music together.

But instead, I am a silent bird.

Solitary on a tree branch

not understood,

or included.

Am I even a bird if I cannot sing?

I am filled with glorious songs.

Thoughts and poetry overflow inside of me with no escape.

I wish to amaze the world with my gifts.

But here I am.

Alone and misunderstood,

on my solitary tree branch.

I am a silent bird.

The Heat

Sweltering heat and dripping sweat.

This is not what I like best.

Having summer in the month of May

is enough to make me stay

in my nice cool air conditioning.

I will always keep positioning

myself in front of blowing fan.

Heat is NOT for this autistic man.

How many times can I change my shirt?

I refuse to live in this hot desert

where moving causes me to sweat.

Being hot is my regret.

So when you ask me to come outside

you will know why I run and hide

and stay in bed until the fall.

Maybe I’ll move to Montreal.

Ode To The Thrift Shop

Cancel your plans and come with me.

There is no place I’d rather be

than hunting for bargains in a thrift shop store.

Things you need, and so much more.

How about this hot pink shirt,

even though it’s stained with dirt?

What about this tattered book,

with recipes that all must cook

from nineteen hundred sixty three,

when women’s dresses were below the knee?

You really need this scary doll,

with eyes that make small children bawl.

I think we need to purchase this…

a picture of a hideous fish.

It only costs two ninety nine.

Let’s buy that bunch of knotted twine.

You never know if you will need

these lovely treasures that you see

upon a shelf in bargain land.

It is a place that is most grand.

To buy a bunch of other’s crap

will be a reason to make me clap.

An afternoon, and all I’ve spent

is five dollars and twenty five cents.

I’ve filled the car, and so much more

because of a wonderful thrift shop store.

Having Autistic Hearing

Hearing and autism are a keen pair, in great detail, all of the time. Hearing everything around you can make you crazy sometimes. I can hear everything that goes on in my house even when I am in another room. Talking about being crazy….my mom always believed she was going crazy because I would come up after being in the basement and comment on something she had just watched on the news in the kitchen. Take notice of that if you have an autistic family member. Guess what? You are going to believe it is a coincidence, but it is not.

Many times as I was growing up, I was aware of everything and I would blurt out a word that had something to do with what was going on around me to show I was listening. I think other autistics probably do that too.

I am able to hear things that others can’t. Recently a house fly got in my parents bedroom and I was able to know where it went because I was able to hear it when my mom couldn’t. She was surprised by that! Yes, autism and I can hear you talking about me in the next room so watch what you say!

I believe being able to hear so well is a blessing and a curse. Hearing certain frequencies cause me to have synesthesia, a blessing for sure! I love listening to Frank Sinatra because I experience colorful auras of deep browns, maroons, and gold. That is why I love listening to music so much. Being autistic can be fun while listening to “old blue eyes”. Having synesthesia is the best part of being autistic.

I think having an autistic spy would be a good idea. I could be the next autistic James Bond!

Daylight

Daylight controls us with its power and warmth.

It has the strength to bloom beautiful flowers.

It can warm up the coldest day.

It can light the way out of darkness

and lead us into a new world.

It can grow in intensity and burn and scorch the earth.

It can cause drought and parch our world as we cry out for relief.

But without it we cannot live.

It is an integral link in the chain of life.

It will burn brightly for eternity,

bathe us in a warm glow,

and lift our spirits to the heavens.

Daylight heats my soul with its golden rays.

The Conference

Yesterday I was a presenter at a conference for autism and it was an amazing experience. I think all of the people there were either parents or professionals who are involved with autism. You can’t imagine how nervous I was. This was my first time presenting live. Usually I present via zoom from my dining room. It adds a whole other layer of anxiety to do it live. Having my SEEN (Spellers Empowering Education for Nonspeakers) advocacy group presenting with me calmed all of my anxiety.

I want autistic people to know that in a MILLION years I NEVER thought I would be doing this kind of stuff. Yes, I wanted to, but I never thought I would be capable. I want all people to see that we are capable of so much more than meets the eye.

Today autism is viewed differently than when I was young. Being autistic as a child I was viewed as a toddler and a brat who couldn’t control myself. Yesterday I felt like a rock star sitting on that stage. They even gave us a standing ovation!

Yes, autism and life have some mysterious twists and turns.

What a ride!

Mother’s Day

I love my mom with the burning intensity of one thousand suns. Being autistic and being her child was the perfect plan by God. He knew another mother couldn’t do a job as good as she can. I am a lucky guy!

Say what you want about being autistic but she makes it bearable and almost fun! She and my sister Alyssa are home with me most of the time and all of us have such a good time together. The pandemic was difficult but was made better by having them there.

My mom spends her time being my personal assistant. Talk about a perfect companion! She is patient, kind, and loving. I am hugged one hundred times a day. I am given praise even more than that. How can I ever be without her? How can anyone be without a mother who loves you so much? Yes, I am aware not everyone is so lucky, but God looked favorably on me when he chose her for me. I am forever grateful! I am forever loved and happy because of her.

My Latest Video

I think apraxia is really well explained in my latest video which came out on YouTube today. No one know how it feels unless you live with it every day.

Tell all of your friends to always presume competence and not judge us for how we look on the outside.

The Autistic Boy And The Dance

“It can’t hurt being autistic when you are going to a dance” thought the autistic boy. “Autism makes my body move all around, so what better place to be?” So the autistic boy went happily to the dance to see the friends he had missed so much over the past few years during the pandemic.

The boy began to be scared his friends had forgotten him, but all that worry turned into joy as he saw everyone! It was like how it always was! They all began to hug him warmly, because that is what they are……warm people. They all spent the night dancing and it was the best night ever! The boy and his friends believed apraxia even had a good time!

Autism and apraxia make for some really good dance moves, but beware of those flying limbs!

Dancing The Night Away

This weekend I went to a dance for my friends that was hosted by AALIVE. Somewhere back in 2020 I attended another one, but the pandemic caused a pause in yearly ones. To see friends after two years apart was an amazing feeling. My friends totally “get” me. I feel comfortable to be myself around them, and no one judges each other. Some people are autistic and some have Down Syndrome. Some can talk, most cannot, but all have the biggest heart and loving personalities.

We danced all night with parents who want nothing more than for us to enjoy life and be happy. To be with all of them after years apart was a dream come true for me. Having friends can make life better than all the money in the world. To me, I am the richest person ever! I am also the luckiest for being a member of Inside Voice and Peaceful Living.

Tell you autistic loved ones that life and autism can be beautiful together.

Mine sure is!